Wednesday, December 29, 2010

"Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice."

Love, what is it?  I always thought I knew what it was until my most recent relationship ended.  I was head over heals and if he would have asked me to marry him the answer would have been yes.  Now this relationship is over and we are friends.  It was an up and down winding roller coaster of a relationship and the friendship has been no different.  He is currently in another "serious" relationship, but still says things as a what if our relationship was this or that, what would it be like?  I don't have the answers to those questions but he only seems to ask them when I am trying to start something new.  My best friend often times just listens to my problems and attempts to offer her unbiased advice, but more recently she has been more honest.  This is what I need.  I can't see where the relationship is when I am involved in it.  I need a friend to notice what I can't, so friends step in when I am being stupid and blind!

Men, you say women are confusing, however I beg to differ that men are more confusing then women.  If you could just say what you want and stop beating around the bush it would make things so much easier.  You don't want a serious relationship, fine, but you don't just want sex, also fine and preferred.  So you don't want either of those things, what the hell do you want?  I don't know if the lack of communication that bothers me because since coming to college all of my primary courses have taught me how to read, listen and dissect different forms of communication, but when I can't do that on this, it frustrates me.  Word of the wise to men, say what you want, be direct and honest.  It will get you farther, faster.  

New Year's Resolution:  Stop trying to figure out what other people want and figure out what I want.

Simple resolution, now let's see if I can do it.  Get excited for New Year's, it's going to be fun!

xoxo~ Megan

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Here goes nothing

As I sit down to write my  first ever blog, I am almost at a loss for words.  I don't even know where to begin.  With this year winding down and coming to an end, I have a lot to look back on.  Relationships, friendships, jobs and just everyday life.

I have one semester left of school and I am scared shitless.  I sit back and wonder what I am going to do when I graduate.  I apply and apply to jobs and keep looking everywhere.  I find nothing but nos and unpaid internship offers.  Last I checked, lack of money doesn't pay the bills.  There is the option of coming back to school once I graduate in May.  Then this brings up the where in the hell am I going to get another $30,000.  I am over my head in school debt.  I once had a friend tell me that the amount of money doesn't matter as long as I end up doing something that makes me happy.  I get what he is saying, but I also need to know that when I do graduate and go into the working world that I am not going to be drowning in debt as soon as I get my first paycheck.  I am 21 and I am in more debt then most people twice my age.

Enough about the sad part of school, on to something a little more fun.  This past semester has been one of the best that I can say that I have ever had.  I became friends with some of the greatest people and I can say that I am going to miss them all next semester.  I have to go back to the 'wonderful' world of Communication Studies.  It is going to be nowhere near as fun as the class in HRI.  Even when there is a professor who can't teach or a lecture that we all don't want to go to, it seemed as if it could always be fun.  From Cafe B long islands to bottles of wine at Jake's this semester has been a very fun time.  College is for fun and friends and even a little bit of booze.  Some nights with more than others.  

This is my final thought for the night.  More is to come, I can promise you that.  Here a quote that will be the start of my next post. "Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice."